The One Adjustment That Worked: How I Conquered After-Work Tension Through an Unexpected Find in the Attic

I often feel as tense as a wound-up clock after work. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Typically, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut would be followed by the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, wine poured quickly into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Then, several months back, I discovered my now-adult son’s old school recorder in the attic. Curious, I blew into it, immediately transported back to the days when it drove me crazy – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head hours after he had gone to bed.

Instead of throwing it away, I brought it downstairs, together with a beginner’s songbook. Growing up, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I took recorder classes in primary school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. Forgetting notes easily forced me to focus on the music sheet, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breath calmed, I was focused, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Now, after some months, I can handle other children’s songs and a decent Ode to Joy. Sure, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but to me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it’s purely about the joy it provides and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I learned that few kids play the recorder today, which probably relieves parents, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, and my son’s childhood.

I make it a habit to play each night after work as my first activity, and during those 20 minutes, I am in my own little world. And afterwards, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends think it’s hilarious, but one very wise therapist friend told me I was not only lowering my stress levels, and boosting mental skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.